So, being a betting man, I'd be willing to bet that I actually am hopeless. A handful of women are unlikely to be wrong about such.
Which brings me to another woman in my life who has recent informed me that I'm hopeless. Yes, my first lady says I'm hopeless. You are too, by the way. She was talking to her collective American children, just like my mom used to talk to her urchins. Unlike mom, though, Ms. Michelle sent her message via Oprah.“We feel the difference now. ... Now we’re feeling like what not having hope feels like. … What do you do if you don’t have hope, Oprah?”
Michelle Obama
So, I'm a multiple loser in the hope game. It's a shame, really. Things were going so well under President Obama's tenure. Now, there's nothing left to look forward to.
I guess I'll just have to revel in the growth of the welfare state over the last eight years to find some inspiration. Maybe, just maybe, there will be another expansion of welfare sometime in my life. Honestly, it seems too much to hope for, though.
Then again, I could perhaps find some solace in the fact that inner city violence has increased at an astonishing rate. Even if it levels off for a while at it's current rate, there's always a possibility that it might get worse in the future. It makes me feel rebellious to hope for that because mommy told me that there is no hope.
Of course, I have loved the stagnant economy of late. Each day has been filled with the lovely scent of despair wafting through the air. I do love the smell of despair early in the morning. Maybe a slovenly recovery will come along again in my lifetime. But, my first lady says it ain't so. The good times are over. I am hopeless.
And taxes, OMG, I love taxes. That jerk Trump says he's going to lower taxes. What a schmuck. Doesn't he know that we love paying for things? I, for one, love paying for welfare scams and welfare lifestyles. I firmly believe that anyone who wants to adopt welfare as a way of life should have the right to do so. And I want to pay for it, dammit. How dare he take that pleasure from me!
Furthermore, he wants to lower taxes on corporations. Doesn't he realize that companies who pay fewer taxes can afford to employ more people? He's trying to take away unemployment benefits by making jobs available. His cynicism is unfathomable.
Oh, for the days when unemployment benefits were mine to pay. But, those days are gone, according to the first mom. I'll get to keep more of my tax money and the unemployed will have to go back to work. It's just lose-lose all the way around. This whole thing really sucks.
Our newfound racial divide has been especially refreshing. I'm ass-over-teakettle that the races trust one another less than at any time in my memory.
Speaking of which, the murder spree aimed at the so-called 'men in blue' has been delicious. What a bunch of whiney pansies those guys are! It's easy to be a bully when you carry a gun and abuse people all day long just for kicks. Good thing that citizens are exercising their right to execute officials that they don't like. Yes, this has been a wonderland of hope and optimism. Too bad it'll just fade into mist. I'm gonna miss the news reports of fallen pigs. Fry 'em like bacon, I say.
It's no wonder that many of our fellow Americans want to undermine the Trump presidency. To sit idly and watch him undo all of the progress of the last eight years is nearly criminal. I'm ashamed of myself for not being more involved. Perhaps I should sign a petition or carry a sign or start a riot or something to show my support of us no-hopers.
Or, better yet, I have a bottle and a rag and some gas... Maybe someone could send me the address of an elector...
I'll take care of the rest.
Hopelessly yours,
TheCurmudgeon
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